It’s been a long time since I’ve had a RiCwB update – mostly because I’m no longer the car pool mom, and it’s just me and Corwin in the morning. And we’re usually cranky. And tired.
And this morning, we were late as fuck. So this conversation happened.
Me: Damnit, Corwin. School starts in three minutes. We live ten minutes from school. You do the math.
Corwin: Because you can’t?
Me: *glares* Even I can manage to suss out that you’re getting a tardy. *bitches about slow moving traffic*
Corwin: If we had a flying car, we’d be the Weasleys, and all of this would be irrelevant.
Me: If my child could get his ass moving in the morning, all of this would also be irrelevant.
Corwin: Touché, mother.
Me: *glares some more*
Corwin: If we were the Weasleys, you’d have a lot more kids and you probably wouldn’t notice which of us were late. And one of them would be–
Me: Don’t you even dare go there! Also, Molly Weasley knows all. I’d know.
Corwin: If we were the Weasleys, I would have kept a grown-ass man as a pet rat for years, and that really creeps me out.
Me: Plus side – if we were the Weasleys, you’d end up marrying Hermione.
Corwin: That is a plus side. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with Emma Watson.
Me: No. No there is not.
Corwin: Wanna hear a joke I saw on Tumblr?
Me: Probably not.
Corwin: How long do owls live?
Me: I will live to regret asking, but how long?
Corwin: About six and a half books.
Me: Get. Out.