Merlin Club: The Hollow Queen or The One Where We Learn More of Jess’ Strangely Specific Fetishes

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Gwen uses a young boy to lure Merlin away from Camelot while she sets up a Medieval style hit on Arthur. The boy leads Merlin deep into a forest and Morgana attacks Merlin and poisons him with a slow acting, torturous poison and then kicks him down into a ravine.

Meanwhile, Gwen is arranging Arthur’s murder with a visiting king whose name kinda sounds like Sauron, and he was also the one who held Morgana and Aithusa in a pit for two years. He’s planning to screw over Gwen and take Camelot for himself. Arthur is worried about Merlin because he’s been missing for so long and Gaius suggests sending out a search party, but Gwen quashes that with a lie about Merlin sneaking off to see a girl.

The boy who led Merlin to his doom feels way guilty and does his best to save him, mixing up a cure that Merlin rattles off to him. After Merlin is sufficiently recovered, he and the boy head back to Camelot to save the day, but they meet some brigands on the road and Merlin is all “I don’t have time for this shit” and magically throws them around.

He and the boy get back in time to prevent an assassin from shooting  Arthur with a crossbow, but the boy takes a knife to the chest and Merlin magically throws a spear at the assassin and kills him as the assassin’s shot goes wide and kills the king who’s name isn’t quite Sauron. Gwen has a terrible time hiding her disappointment that both her husband and Merlin are still alive.

Oh, and Jess’ Strangely Specific Fetishes featured in this episode: Merlin’s hands, forearms, purposeful stride, his “do-not-fuck-with-me expression”, Arthur’s use of the royal we.

The questions!

1.)  If I’d written this episode…I’m not sure that I’d really change much. But I have a screaming headache right now, soooooo this may not be the best time to to answer this question.

2.) The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. I loved how jealous Arthur was of the thought that Merlin was with a girl. Didn’t like how idiotic Arthur was being unable to dress himself.

3.) Something you never noticed about this episode before. @practicalstyl pointed this out, but why doesn’t  Arthur ever go to the tavern (or send someone to the tavern) to fetch Merlin?

4.) Favorite costume. I think Arthur and Gwen look particularly lovely in this scene.

Dress

5.) Here is some proof of some random head canon I’ve created. I didn’t create it, but all Merthur all the time.

6.) What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? It has be Arthur being all jealous over the possibility of Merlin having a girlfriend. Also how pissy Merlin seems to be when Arthur is kissing Gwen.

7.) What made Jen lose her shit  – in a good or bad way? The British king in Persian style armor.

 

Here’s Jess‘ take on the episode,  and here’s Jen’s

Merlin Club: A Lesson in Vengeance or The One Where Gwen Gets Stabby (Literally)

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Okay, so my life is spinning wildly and horribly out of control because of writing deadlines, editing deadlines, and life deadlines. You may be noticing a theme here. As a result of the seventh circle of hell that is now my life Merlin Club is gonna be super short this week.

Basically, Gwen is still under Morgana’s thrall due to an intense case of Magical Stockholm Syndrome™ and tries twice to murder Arthur and manages to frame Sam from Game of Thrones for the first attempt (then she straight up stabs him to keep him quiet) and frame Merlin for the second attempt. Merlin is thrown in jail, busts out of jail, saves Arthurs’s life, sneaks back into jail and is finally cleared. The End.

 

Okay, the questions…

1.)  If I’d written this episode… I would have make the evidence against Sam from Game of Thrones more damning than a spool of red thread. What? He’s the only person with red thread in all of Camelot!? I don’t think so, lazy writers.

2.) The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. I loved Emrys bitching out everyone. That was delightful.

3.) Something you never noticed about this episode before. How freaking obsequious Leon was toward Gwen when it looked like Arthur was going to die.

4.) Favorite costume. Gwen’s black cloak with the Kinsale style hood.

Gwen's Black cloak

 

5.) Here is some proof of some random head canon I’ve created. I didn’t create it, but I still really think that Morgana and Evil Gwen are getting it on.

6.) What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? I don’t think she had naughty thoughts, but she was definitely moved but Merlin being terrified that he wasn’t going to be able to save Arthur.  (Actually, I  think pertinent body parts were moved when he said that spell in the almost Dragon Lord-y voice.) Oh, and I know she had naughty thoughts about Merlin waking up with his ass in the air.

Sadface MerlinMerlin Ass in Air

7.) What made Jen lose her shit  – in a good or bad way? In good way, she loved when Merlin, in his Emrys costume lets everyone in Camelot know what he really thinks of them.

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Here’s Jess‘ take on the episode,  and here’s Jen’s